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  What if the sun set on LINGUIST?  


Can you imagine what would happen to the world if the LINGUIST sun were extinguished forever? Brace yourself...what you are about to read is terrifying! The list below is just a preview of the horrors that await a dark and lonely world with no LINGUIST sun.




Graduate students would do linguistic analysis while you wait.

There'd be no more Fun Ddrive Ffridays.

Linguistics publishing would collapse without LINGUIST book and journal announcements.

The line at the unemployment office would be composed of linguists: linguists wouldn't know about the existing jobs in linguistics.

Without SBP as a guide, language documenters would go into the field with 8mm cameras and no microphone.

Even MORE airlines would declare bankruptcy : lacking LINGUIST conference announcements, linguists wouldn't be flying to conferences.

In despair, the LINGUIST pig would sacrifice itself so that the destitute LINGUIST crew would be able to eat. Mmmmm...bacon.

Psychotherapists would have more business: cut-off from their peers, more linguists would need to seek counseling for loneliness.

The bandana, bib, and tote-bag industry/market would go belly-up.

Even fewer people would understand what a linguist does, so we would get asked that question even more often. Unless, of course, people stop even wondering what a linguist does because linguists would get less publicity in general.

Email providers would not offer as much disk storage: LINGUIST subscribers would no longer need terrabytes of storage for daily emails.

Students would flock to business administration and fashion design: there would be no LINGUIST database of linguistics programs and support announcements.

South American coffee export would diminish: the LINGUIST staff wouldn't be drinking all of it.

Coffee houses would go broke: no linguists would be writing dissertations because they couldn't announce them on LINGUIST

Documentary linguists would have to plan their own vacations: LINGUIST wouldn't be drafting them into working groups for the E-MELD conferences.

A picture is worth a 1000 words.

All of the mailing lists we host would wander the earth aimlessly trying to find a new home.

Percival, used to foie gras and beluga caviar, would have to go back to cat food--cold turkey.



Please remember to visit our donation site today to help keep these horrors at bay.

-The LINGUIST crew

Page Updated: 12-May-2008
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