Legend of the LINGUIST Sunset

Dear LINGUIST readers,

Let me start by assuring you that what you are about to read, horrifying as it is, is entirely true — I've never told a lie in my life, and I'm not about to start now. It all started at the last monthly meeting of LINGUIST List. I usually go out and lie in the middle of the floor when the crew is all in the house — they always scratch me behind the ears and giggle about how adorable I am. However, this time I saw one of the crew members bring in a lot of LINGUIST merchandise. This always means that they take scads of pictures, inevitably including one of me stuffed inside a LINGUIST t-shirt or tote bag. So, this time I was hiding underneath the desk in the office. When I got snuggled under there, however, I realized that I was not alone.

The paper was old and yellowed. The script was unlike any I'd seen before. You know what they say about cats and curiosity — I had to decipher it. So I went to my favorite online translator, input the mystical script (just let me say, thank goodness for Unicode), and selected for my translation choice 'strange-looking-script to English'. I printed out the translation, hunkered down and started to read it, and ran with hair standing on end to the crew for help.

Unfortunately, the crew had their cameras out, and I was immediately picked up and thrown into a t-shirt and photographed. (Oh, the humiliation!)

As I restored my composure, Helen picked up the translation that I had dropped in my surprise and read it out loud:

Since the time of the beginning, we have been warmed by its light. The LINGUIST sun has guided us through endeavors linguistic, spoken to us in our dreary days of isolation, and brightened our paths to academic bliss.

Since the LINGUIST List is a website, I can only assume that the author of this script has a liberal view of the meaning of 'beginning', and is unacquainted with isolation that lies beyond the reach of the internet.

The LINGUIST sun gives unselfishly of itself through the passing moments of a year. But all this sunlight isn't free. It needs our support to rise above the weight of a heavy world and shine for linguists everywhere. If we don't help it, the LINGUIST sun will set forever and an age of darkness will fall upon the world of linguistics .

At this point, Anthony interjected that he thought it was all rubbish. Helen pointed out that they had found the paper on the floor, and no one on the crew would pull a prank like this. The crew shifted uneasily, but all denied having done anything. I, of course, knew they hadn't done it because they couldn't have put it under the desk.

Gayathri noted that this might be something of an overstatement and the crew murmured in agreement. Michael chimed in that, melodramatic phrasing aside, this was actually somewhat accurate. Without the LINGUIST directory of linguists, people would have a much harder time looking up information on linguists. And without the listserv postings, announcements about conferences, jobs, and other things would not be mailed to LINGUIST's 22,000 subscribers. If LINGUIST were to cease to exist, the discussions held on the listserv would not be posted, and the 137 listservs hosted there would no longer be available. Helen nodded in agreement, and continued reading to a not-daring-to-breathe crew.

The LINGUIST does more than shed light on the linguistic world — it upholds the virtues of linguistics. As the different facets of LINGUIST fall into the void of apathy, they take with them these gifts to the field. With the fall of E-MELD, witness the loss of Endurance. DATA takes with it Collaboration, and Multi-tree Wisdom. Finally, with the loss of LL-MAP, the linguistic world will lose Global Awareness.

Ljuba noted that this too was a bit of an overstatement, as people would surely not lose basic values with the loss of LINGUIST. Anthony argued that LINGUIST does provide the GA-power for a lot of projects besides the LINGUIST List, and it would certainly be a shame to lose those.

Every year, the sun calls out for help. Every year, LINGUIST List readers come together to support the sun and ensure that it shines on the field of linguistics for one year longer.

Helen folded up the paper neatly and looked up at a stunned crew. Slowly they began to understand that this year's Fund Drive would be of truly mythic proportions. Then, in full LINGUIST form, the ideas started flying like proverbial pigs. We would go the extra mile to make this year's Fund Drive the best ever. We could add more fun activities and features than ever! Why not host a whole LINGUIST cruise? We could even stop at everybody's hometown, so people can see where the crew are from and what we're about.

So that's what we're doing. You can take part in the cruise, visit our hometowns on the way, and, of course, join in on the cruise activities: a memory lane of linguists, stories of how they became interested in the field. You can have dinner at the mess hall and tip the singing waiter. If you really like the food, you can even get the cookbook, along with an assortment of souvenirs, at the ship's premium gift-shop. And, of course, every Friday in Fun-dDrive Friday. Wear your LINGUIST shirt and surf the special Fund Drive site.

So join in the fun. There's a little something for everyone. Don't let the sun set on LINGUIST List!

– Percival