Long, long ago, in a society not that different from ours, people used language naturally and gave very little thought to "proper" usage or what was "correct." They believed their individual languages to be a surface representation of a deep and shared knowledge, and within each language, varieties were welcomed without social stigma. But as the society grew and became more specialized, people began to judge those who spoke differently than themselves. Grammarians were popping up in every classroom, and a prescriptivist lurked 'round every corner. Soon, there was no escaping these new language "experts." They published books and even had columns in the weekly paper! The situation grew worse with each passing year, until one very special year, a very special pig came to town. Pigs, as we all know, are quite intelligent, and this was no ordinary pig. This pig was enlightened and hip to the ways of natural language. Well, this little piggy wasn't fond of prescriptivism, to say the least, but still being a pig, her influence was, shall we say, limited. She began to fastidiously develop a descriptive grammar for the society. No one took her work seriously, and no one had the courage to publish her work. To further her linguistic mission, the pig quietly assembled a group of individuals from all around the world that committed their lives to battling prescriptivists everywhere! They called themselves 'linguists' and advanced the study of language and the human mind by listening and studying to language patterns. They learned that a scientific approach would be the only way to stop the prescriptivist grammarians. Who could argue with science?

Bring back the LINGUIST sun! Donate Here Goal:$55,000

Years and years went by. As the linguists developed and honed their science in the Pig Cave (their secret lair), prescriptivists continued to terrorize schoolchildren and townspeople everywhere. One grammarian - the worst of the worst - didn't like the logical form of scientific inquiry. She was a mean person and no one liked her. Once a budding linguist herself, her mind became poisoned and clouded with dreams of success in the prescriptivist-ruled world. She eventually left ranks of the linguists and vowed to one day destroy them all.

She made it her personal mission to discredit the work of linguists. She began teaching "proper grammar" in schools across the land. As she gained popularity with principals and parents, publications freely printed and distributed her work. Her tome Every Rule in Every Language: How to Better Your Native Speaker Instincts was a best-seller, and she became affectionately known as the Grammar Granny across the world. Although our cunning linguists thought this was terribly funny and quietly dubbed her the Degenerative Gramma', they soon became nervous about her stranglehold on the minds of language speakers everywhere.

Although Degenerative Gramma' was successful with her traditional tactics in schools and newspapers, she wanted more. It was not enough for her that most of the world thought linguists were just people who spoke many languages. She wanted to radicalize her tactics and wreak such havoc and destruction that the linguistics community would NEVER recover. But the linguists were so flexible of mind! So logical! So thorough! What could she ever possibly to do cripple the linguistics community...

Of course!

She could steal The LINGUIST List! The largest digital resource to the community! It was the most stable and easiest way for linguists from all corners of the earth to find each other, and keep up with all the great work everywhere. Stealing The LINGUIST List would put an end to the linguists' "reasoning." And so one fateful evening, Degenerative Gramma' devised a terrible plan...

To read more, check back on Fun Ddrive Friday for our comic installment of C-COMMANDER AND THE DISAMBIGUATOR.

Help stop Degenerative Gramma'! If she gets her way, the online linguistics world will lose so many valuable resources...

The LINGUIST List Directory of Linguists makes it possible for visitors of the website to locate linguists specializing in a given language or linguistic subfield by using a simple search function. We have nearly 15,000 linguists in the Directory now, many of whom generously include contact information for LINGUIST List users. LINGUIST List archives 140+ linguistics-related mailing lists and maintains their listservs. Without LINGUIST, daily announcements about conferences, jobs, and media events, among many other things, would not be mailed to LINGUIST's 25,000+ subscribers. If LINGUIST were to be captured by the evil Degenerative Gramma', immediate losses to the community include free public access to: 1300+ linguistics dissertation abstracts, 500 current conference listings, 170 calls for papers, 2,000 active job listings and nearly 70 student support offers.

Try to imagine the dark world without The LINGUIST List....Donate Now!