LINGUIST List 14.1092

Sat Apr 12 2003

All: The Saturday MaLingua: Only $9,400.53 to go

Editor for this issue: Richard John Harvey <richardlinguistlist.org>

Directory

1. linguist, Moderators only need $9,400.43 to make a Retaliation Takeover bid
2. linguist, Restaurant Review: The MaLingua Midnight Cafe
3. linguist, The Linguists' Place is in the Kitchen - MaLingua Exclusive Interview
4. linguist, How to Donate and the LINGUIST List Hall of Fame

		*********************
		*** MaLingua 2003 ***
		*********************
		 12th April 2003

~To read MaLingua online, and see the photos, visit:
 http://linguistlist.org/malingua2003.html


Moderators only need $9,400.43 to make a Retaliation Takeover bid

Hopeful!

In another exclusive story, MaLingua can reveal that things are not as
bad as they originally seemed a few days ago. The moderators of the
now taken over LINGUIST List have done surprisingly well in generating
the support that they need to overcome the mighty power of the Food is
Very Profitable Network (FVPN) and recapture the List and remove
LINGUIST Cook Online for good.

As we reported in yesterday's MaLingua, the moderators need $50,000 to
ensure the return of the academic stalwart The LINGUIST List to its
rightful place and guarantee its smooth running. So far they have
secured the help from 965 donors to raise a staggering $40,599.57 -
but they still need another $9,400.43 to topple the target.

The LINGUIST List Head of Legal Matters James Yuells told us "It's a
bit of a shame that we only have less than a thousand
supporters. LINGUIST List had over 17,000 subscribers. Just think if
they all gave $5 we would raise over $85,000 - We only need $50,000 to
get these nasty commercialites out of LINGUIST for good."

Yuells then went on to read a press release from the moderators which
detailed their plans for improving the site once they regain
control. It is believed that this policy of openness is not only
intended to encourage supporters to help the cause, but also to scare
the opposition, who are currently trying fight off the reports of
underhand share dealing. It was announced that LINGUIST List Loyals
have secured the services of a new super-cat to replace Percival, who
turned out to be P.C. Ival, head of FVPN. Despite his portly build and
his lack of alacrity, it is hoped than Vincent the Fat Cat will pull
through for the moderators and be as creative as Percival was.

The moderators also promised to remove the nasty and annoying pop-ups
that have appeared all over the site since LINGUIST Cook Online took
over. "We hate them!" said a disgruntled ex LINGUIST List user who
wished to remain anonymous. "Everything used to be so free on
LINGUIST, and there was never any pop-up to slow down your
browser. LINGUIST really cared. LINGUIST Cook Online just wants to
sell subscriptions and make the shareholders rich." She then went on
to add "I've made a $5 donation to the cause; I now it's not a lot but
it really makes a difference."

Keep reading this space for developments...

************************************************************************

Help to restore LINGUIST to its former glory.

Donate Now: http://linguistlist.org/donate.html

For instructions on how to donate, see the last message in this issue
or visit:

http://linguistlist.org/donation.html

*************************************************************************

~To read MaLingua online, and see the photos, visit:
 http://linguistlist.org/malingua2003.html

Restaurant Review: The MaLingua Midnight Cafe
By N. Faux

Melodious strains of vowel harmony float through the room, blending
with soft chatter and occasional bursts of laughter. Gleaming
flourescent light reflects off the steaming mugs of tea and shining
heads of aging academicians. The burgeoning Malingua MidnightCafe has
garnered attention with its explosive beginnings, and the curious
mingle with the skeptical in the grand opening gala. Live music,
energetic staff, and an astounding collection of tantalizing dishes
combine to make a visit to the Cafe a guaranteed recursive experience.

One can hardly believe the newly formed jazz band, The Mesolects,
formed practically yesterday. Duo divas Dina Kapetangianni and Anita
Huang exhibit matched fortitions and lenitions with only a hint of
free variation. When asked, Dina said the success was due to the
musicians, Steven Moran, Heather Taylor, and Sarah Murray, whose
playing has caused attention to focus on the vocals. "Tonight is
Sarah's night on the drums," she said enthusiastically, "and she went
for it without even looking at the book! The only trouble is keeping
an eye on Steve, who keep sneaking out his laptop and attempting to
program."

Maitre d' Richard John Harvey circulates through the room, exchanging
pleasantries with the guests, ensuring that minimal movement takes
place between the tables and parametric variation remains slight. In
the corner, moderators Anthony Aristar and Helen Aristar-Dry sulkily
nurse their drinks, brightening briefly when waitress Marie
Klopfenstein's disagreement with a customer faulting his production
rather than her comprehension becomes heated. Mr. Harvey glides to the
table and quickly controls the situation, faulting an unspecified
category and dispatching a creamy bowl of Asparagus Pistachio
Soup. The staff seem to be adjusting quickly to their new roles in the
Culinary Arts.

Smiles of satisfaction and sighs of appreciation are seen at every
table, for the true attraction of Midnight is the phenomenal food!
Under the direction of head chef Karolina Owczarzak, the staff
assembles masterpieces of culinary expertise guaranteed to delight
from onset to coda, from the juicy Huachinango a la Veracruzana to the
sinfully smooth Kahlua Creamy Fudge. The greatly anticipated first
volume of The LINGUIST List Cookbook highlights some of the most
popular recipes, and is proudly displayed on the counter for sale.

If the Midnight continues its maturational development pattern, it is
guaranteed to be a hotspot for fine food and frisky linguistic
gossip. The service from Renee Galvis was friendly and efficient, and
she even allowed me to collect developmental language data from her
son while I waited. The only flaw in the evening was the Red Wine
Cake, which had to be returned to the kitchen after finding evidence
in the sauce of chef Zhenwei Chen's knife-juggling practice. My visit
to Midnight rated four stars out of five, and definitely merits a
return visit.

To order your copy of The LINGUIST List Cookbook, visit:

http://linguistlist.org/premiums.html

***********************************************************************

Help the moderators in their fight - Donate today:

http://linguistlist.org/donate.html

For instructions on how to donate, see the last message in this issue
or visit:

http://linguistlist.org/donation.html

Get LINGUIST List back - Say No to LINGUIST Cook Online!

*************************************************************************

~To read MaLingua online, and see the photos, visit:
 http://linguistlist.org/malingua2003.html


The Linguists' Place Is in the Kitchen

An exclusive interview with Dr. P.C. Ival

MaLingua: Dr. Ival, thank you so much for agreeing to talk to us.

P.C. Ival: I decided the time has come to set some things straight and
deal with certain false rumors that have been circulating here and
there.

M: First of all, how did you manage to fool the moderators for so many
years and have them thinking that you're just a nice, slightly
mentally challenged kitty cat?

I: Oh, it was easy. I knew where to strike. As all linguists, they are
big, trusting softies when it comes to helpless animals. It was enough
just to rub my head against their feet and they were done for. Often I
would sneak out and go on one of my business travels, or to my
penthouse apartment in Manhattan or my villa in Tuscany just to relax
for a few days, and those suckers would think I got lost somewhere and
would worry themselves sick. To prevent me from wandering away again
they would tie me to some heavy object so I wouldn't go far, but I was
too clever for that! I managed the trick of untying myself in three
seconds - even David Copperfield asked for a tutorial.

M: So what do you think about your replacement with Vincent the Fat Cat?

I: I think the LINGUIST Loyals are digging themselves a grave by
taking on that sad excuse for a cat. Nobody ever heard about him. The
only thing he's useful for is wiping the floor with his sagging
belly...

M: Is it true that the takeover of the LINGUIST List was not a hundred
percent honest deal?

P: The deal was as clean as my fur, I can assure you. You can't be
surprised that the student editors were more than willing to work for
me, now at least they've got food and prospects. To put it simply,
there is no profit in academic linguistics nowadays, and certainly not
in running the website for the linguistic community. The linguists'
place is in the kitchen; there at least they can put their brains to
something useful.


***********************************************************************

Help the moderators in their fight - Donate today:

http://linguistlist.org/donate.html

For instructions on how to donate, see the last message in this issue
or visit:

http://linguistlist.org/donation.html

Get LINGUIST List back - Say No to LINGUIST Cook Online!

************************************************************************

The LINGUIST List is under the umbrella of Eastern Michigan University
and as such can receive donations through the EMU Foundation, which is
a registered 501(c) Non Profit organization. Our Federal Tax number
is 38-6005986. These donations can be offset against your federal and
sometimes your state tax return (U.S. tax payers only). For more
information visit the IRS Web-Site, or contact your financial advisor.

Many companies also offer a gift matching scheme, such that they will
match any gift you make to a non-profit organization. Normally this
entails your contacting your human resources department and sending us
a form that the EMU Foundation fills in and returns to your employer.
This is generally a simple administrative procedure that doubles the
value of your gift to LINGUIST, without costing you an extra
penny. Please take a moment to check if your company operates such a
scheme.

HOW TO DONATE

You can make a contribution by selecting one of three convenient
payment methods: secure credit card form, check, or wire transfer.
You can also PLEDGE your support to LINGUIST and pay later, i.e. send
in a check. Also, if you do not want to use a credit card, but wish to
pay in a currency other than US Dollars, you can donate via our
European bank account held in Switzerland. See below for details:

SECURE CREDIT CARD FORM: 
http://linguistlist.org/donate.html

CHECK: 
Please make checks payable to 'The LINGUIST List Editorial Support
Fund'. The address is:

The LINGUIST Editorial Support Fund
Department of English Language and Literature
612 Pray Harrold
Eastern Michigan University
Ypsilanti
MI, 48197
U.S.A. 

WIRE TRANSFER: 
For details on how to transfer funds by wire, please contact LINGUIST
at the address donatelinguistlist.org. Both an American and a
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PLEDGE NOW, PAY LATER: 
If you would like to make a pledge of support, please go to: 

http://linguistlist.org/donate.html


ALREADY PLEDGED:
If you have already pledged to LINGUIST and would now like to pay by
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http://linguistlist.org/creditcard-general.html

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******************************************************

The LINGUIST List Hall of Fame

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 SNEDDON, James
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 Stefan A. Frisch
 Stefan Rijnhart
 Steve Hartman Keiser
 Steve Poteet
 Steven Donahue Miami-Dade Community COllege
 steven h. weinberger
 Stuart Stewart
 Sue Medeiros
 Sun-Hee Lee
 Susan Fiksdal
 Susan G. Guion
 Susanne Bartke
 Susanne Gahl
 Suying Hsiao
 Suzette Haden Elgin
 Svetlana G. McCoy
 Sylvana Krausse
 Tadhg '' hIfearn�in
 Taka Shinya
 Tamao Araki
 Tamara Nicol
 Tamra Wysocki
 Tania Ionin
 Tanja Collet --- University of Windsor
 Tanya Ivanova
 tim collett
 Tobias Thelen
 Toby Ayer
 Tom Roeper
 Tomislav Stojanov, Zagreb, Croatia
 Ton van der Wouden
 Toshihiro Sugawara
 Tracey McHenry
 Uli Reich
 Umarani Pappuswamy
 Umberto Ansaldo
 Uri Horesh
 Ute Smit
 Vern M. Lindblad
 Vernon L. Curts
 Vic Ferreira, University of California, San Diego
 Victoria Anderson
 Victoria V�zquez Rozas
 Vieri Samek-Lodovici
 Vijayarani J. Fedson
 Viktor Tron
 Vincent De Rooij
 Violetta Cavalli-Sforza
 W. Keith Winkler
 Weber Andrea
 Will Fitzgerald
 Wiltrud Mihatsch
 WIM VANDENBUSSCHE, VRIJE UNIVERSITEIT BRUSSEL
 Winifred Davies
 Xose L. Regueira
 Yuwen Lai
 Z. Bond
 Zaida A. Cintron
 Zoe Toft, Wouter Jansen
 Zsuzsanna Fagyal
 - Plus 139 anonymous donors

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MAJOR SUPPORTING PUBLISHERS
 
 Blackwell Publishing
 http://www.blackwellpublishing.com 
 Cambridge University Press
 http://www.cup.org 
 Continuum International Publishing Group Ltd
 http://www.continuumbooks.com 
 Elsevier Science Ltd.
 http://www.elsevier.com/locate/linguistics 
 http://www.socscinet.com/linguistics
 John Benjamins
 http://www.benjamins.com/ 
 http://www.benjamins.nl
 Kluwer Academic Publishers
 http://www.wkap.nl/ 
 http://www.kluweronline.com
 MIT Press
 http://mitpress.mit.edu/ 
 Mouton de Gruyter
 http://www.degruyter.com 
 Oxford University Press
 http://www.oup-usa.org/ 
 Rodopi
 http://www.rodopi.nl/ 
 Routledge (Taylor and Francis)
 http://www.routledge.com/ 
 

OTHER SUPPORTING PUBLISHERS

 CSLI Publications
 http://csli-publications.stanford.edu/ 
 Cascadilla Press
 http://www.cascadilla.com/ 
 Evolution Publishing
 http://www.evolpub.com 
 Graduate Linguistic Students' Assoc., Umass
 http://server102.hypermart.net/glsa/index.htm 
 International Pragmatics Assoc.
 http://ipra-www.uia.ac.be/ipra/ 
 Linguistic Assoc. of Finland
 http://www.ling.helsinki.fi/sky/ 
 MIT Working Papers in Linguistics
 http://web.mit.edu/mitwpl/ 
 Multilingual Matters
 http://www.multilingual-matters.com/ 
 Pacific Linguistics
 http://pacling.anu.edu.au/ 
 Palgrave Macmillan
 http://www.palgrave.com 
 Pearson Longman
 http://www.pearsoneduc.com/catalog.html 
 SIL International
 http://www.ethnologue.com/bookstore.asp 
 St. Jerome Publishing Ltd.
 http://www.stjerome.co.uk/ 
 Utrecht Institute of Linguistics
 http://www-uilots.let.uu.nl/

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INSTITUTIONS

American University of Sharjah
Bowne Global Solutions
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Computer Science Innovations
Disetronic Medical Systems AG
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Idilia Inc.
Indiana University
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National Tsing Hua University
Rhetorical Systems
Rochester Institute of Technology
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Scansoft Belgium
School of Oriental and African Studies
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Speechworks International Inc.
StreamSage
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University of Amsterdam
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University of Edinburgh
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University of Groningen
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University of Macau
University of Muenster, Germany
University of Ottawa
University of Puerto Rico
University of Rochester
University of Rostock
University of South Florida
University of Tilburg
University of Tromso
University of Troms�
Universit� du Qu�bec en Outaouais
Universit� du Qu�bec � Montr�al
Uppsala University
Voice Futures