LINGUIST List 14.1102

Mon Apr 14 2003

All: Takeover Bid Gains Momentum...

Editor for this issue: Richard John Harvey <richardlinguistlist.org>


Directory

  1. linguist, Retaliation Takeover Bid Gains Momentum - Only $7,770.43 Needed!
  2. linguist, ASK PERCIVAL - A New Service from LINGUIST Cook Online
  3. linguist, *** Poetry Corner ***
  4. linguist, How to Donate and the LINGUIST List Hall of Fame

Message 1: Retaliation Takeover Bid Gains Momentum - Only $7,770.43 Needed!

Date: 14 Apr 2003 18:44:34 -0000
From: linguist <linguistlinguistlist.org>
Subject: Retaliation Takeover Bid Gains Momentum - Only $7,770.43 Needed!

		*********************
		*** MaLingua 2003 ***
		*********************
		 14th April 2003

~To read MaLingua online, and see the photos, visit:
 http://linguistlist.org/malingua2003.html


Retaliation Takeover Bid Gains Momentum

Only $7,770.43 Needed!

The news reaching the MaLingua offices is that the Moderators are
increasing their support in their Retaliation Takeover bid, and they
have nearly raised the $50,000 needed to get LINGUIST List back on its
feet and operating properly.

This morning, The LINGUIST List Loyals released a press statement
detailing the new figures. They tell us that they have secured the
help and generous support of 1,028 donors, which represents a 6%
market share of the much fought after Linguistic Subscriber sector of
the market that encapsulates over 17,000 individuals. As we go to
press the moderators only need $7,770.43 to reach their target.

The moderators have also been very successful in securing new
supporters to the cause. And in true academic style, the ousted
LINGUIST List is offering a commitment to pedagogy second to none that
seems to be drawing the crowd. The LINGUIST List
Editor-In-A-Chieftain-Tank Karen Milligan had this to say: "We have a
lot of new recruits, which can only be good for the discipline of
linguistics. We've been working on catching them when they are young,
because once they are exposed to prescriptive grammar it is so much
harder to convert them." Milligan also added "The latest batch of new
LINGUIST Loyals are the quickest learners that we have ever had. We
hope to have them programming by the end of the week."

These new LINGUIST editors are hoped to replace the old ones who have
gone over to LINGUIST Cook Online, bribed by juicy share options and
better working conditions.

In the meantime, the situation in the newly refurbished LINGUIST Cook
Online kitchens is one of determination. Since Friday they have
barricaded themselves in and have successfully made a stand against
most attempts to break into the offices by the moderators. However,
MaLingua can exclusively reveal that certain LINGUIST List Loyals have
tunnelled into Dr. Aristar-Dry's old office and have been causing
havoc with the FVPN (Food is Very Profitable Network) subsiduary. One
of the more annoying marketing techniques of LINGUIST Cook Online is a
never-ending barrage of pop-up windows that slow down browsers and
generally block the view on anything and everything. The LINGUIST List
Loyals have desperately been trying to remove these nasty pieces of
commercial avaricity but for every one they get rid of, two more pop
up. They certainly have made the job of the LINGUIST Cooks much more
difficult. Some of the tactics employed include putting shoe polish in
the dish washer, blocking delivery of supplies for The MaLingua
Midnight Cafe, and changing the labels on spice jars.

The LINGUIST Cook Online chefs, however, have stated that they are
more determined than ever! Prashant Nagaraja, Dessert Chef, told us
via satellite phone that they have the full backing of FVPN and that
they have blocked off the corridors to the English department with
sacks of Idaho Spuds. In an impassioned interview he said "I have a
meat tenderizer and I'm not afraid to use it! Both Iron Chef Chen and
I are highly trained in the art of Kitchen Kombat - you should see
what Chen can do with a set of chopsticks!"

News from FVPN HQ supports this. Dr. P.C. Ival's spokeskitty and evil
sidekick Mini Meow told us that they have a number of plans to get
supporters back on their side. He told us "We are revamping one of the
old LINGUIST List favorites Ask-A-Linguist, but now it has a twist of
lemon...we are calling it Ask-Percival (see opposite) and it's bound
to bring people over as the answers are so much more smarter.

***********************************************************************

Get rid of nasty pop-ups and restore LINGUIST List...

Donate NOW: http://linguistlist.org/donate.html

For information on how to donate, see the last message in this issue
or visit:

http://linguistlist.org/donation.html

The moderators and LINGUIST Loyals thank you for your support...

************************************************************************
Mail to author|Respond to list|Read more issues|LINGUIST home page|Top of issue

Message 2: ASK PERCIVAL - A New Service from LINGUIST Cook Online

Date: 14 Apr 2003 18:57:57 -0000
From: linguist <linguistlinguistlist.org>
Subject: ASK PERCIVAL - A New Service from LINGUIST Cook Online

~To read MaLingua online, and see the photos, visit:
 http://linguistlist.org/malingua2003.html


Ask-Percival: A New Service from LINGUIST Cook Online

Ask-A-Linguist, Ask-A-Linguist-Cat, Ask-Percival, it's all the same,
isn't it? Besides, at least I answer your questions. For future
reference, though, at least think of something a bit more challenging
to answer. My favorite topics are naps, food, and myself.


Q: Is it truly possible to raise children to be bilingual?

Percival: I have often wished that I had been born bilingual! It is
an undisputed asset in this world, and I have often wondered why more
parents don't take this into account when they decide to have
children. Why, if I were bilingual, my daily cleaning would take half
the time it does now. Not to mention the added gusto to my meals, and
I'm sure the dinner conversation would be incredibly interesting.
Questions do come to mind, though, as to where a second 'tongue' would
be housed. There just doesn't seem to be any room. I suppose you
would have to be born with at least one, just to know how it works,
but where exactly is the second tongue? Also, how does one learn to
work with a second tongue? Would I get confused as to which tongue to
use in which circumstance? Alas, these questions and much more arise
from the question of bilinguals, but I think they must be best
answered by those linguists. From my viewpoint, if the mother has a
tongue and the father has a tongue, there is no reason why the
children can't be born with two tongues. Freakish to some, but I find
bilinguals to be quite interesting. And what kissers!

Q: I've read that 'whom' is dropping out of English. Do you have an
opinion on this?

Percival: Well, now I've heard everything. You humans don't know what
you have until you lose it. If you ask us cats, that voiced bilabial
nasal you added onto the end of the word was the best move you could
have made. We cats have known for years that it is the one consonant
worth having -- just look at what it did for 'who.' It took a
perfectly common, bird-like word and gave it a certain posh air, a 'je
ne sais quoi', that reminds us of beautiful things like aristocracy,
snobbery, and Fancy Feast being served from crystal. Why do you think
it is incorporated in every word I know? But I digress. The question
is English. In any case, I am saddened by the demise of the voiced
bilabial nasal appended to the word 'who.' I just hope it doesn't
mean that there will be no more cat food served on crystal.

Q: Can you help me with my homework for Intro to Linguistics for
Non-Majors?

Percival: No, stupid.

Q: Do you have any advice for young kittens who aspire to have a
career as a linguist cat?

Percival: Well, although not everyone is born with the wit, charm, and
fiendish business savvy that is required for this highly sought-after
job, I can tell you that not much else is necessary. There are a few
things, though, that helped me beat out the peons and get to the top.
First of all, you must be photogenic. So many poor kitties were left
behind in the dust because they sat there stunned by the bright lights
and attention. Second of all, don't chew on the computer wires. I
know they look quite tasty and interesting, but I've lost many a
comrade in the jungles of the computer room. Finally, always conspire
to take over LINGUIST List in some back-handed fashion whenever you
can. Although this is not necessary, it certainly is fun to watch
those linguists run around looking for donations. As for now, I must
be leaving. I'm almost late for my manicure. If you guys donated
more of your money, I could possibly afford a pedicure as well, hint
hint.

*********************************************************************

Help the Moderators get LINGUIST back to normal!

Donate Now: http://linguistlist.org/donate.html

For instructions on how to donate, see the last message in this issue
or visit:

http://linguistlist.org/donation.html

Get rid of pop-ups!

**********************************************************************
Mail to author|Respond to list|Read more issues|LINGUIST home page|Top of issue

Message 3: *** Poetry Corner ***

Date: 14 Apr 2003 18:54:19 -0000
From: linguist <linguistlinguistlist.org>
Subject: *** Poetry Corner ***

~To read MaLingua online, and see the photos, visit:
 http://linguistlist.org/malingua2003.html


*** Poetry Corner *** 
>From a Subscriber (with no apologies)


April is the cruelest month...
Getting and spending we lay waste our powers,
Yet LINGUIST tells us to give what is ours!

Anyone lived in a pretty how town
with up so many pop-ups around
That I can't find the LINGUIST site.
It's just fund drive messages day and night.

So, LINGUIST, I have this to say,
"Gather donations while ye may,
Old time is still a'flying.
But at my back I always hear
Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
April passes into May.
Even Fund Drive must end some day." 


*********************************************************************

Help the moderators get rid of LINGUIST Cook Online...

Donate Now: http://linguistlist.org/donate.html

For instructions on how to donate, see the next message or visit:

http://linguistlist.org/donation.html

Thank you for the support.

***********************************************************************
Mail to author|Respond to list|Read more issues|LINGUIST home page|Top of issue

Message 4: How to Donate and the LINGUIST List Hall of Fame

Date: Mon, 14 Apr 2003 14:55:04 +0000
From: linguist <linguistlinguistlist.org>
Subject: How to Donate and the LINGUIST List Hall of Fame

The LINGUIST List is under the umbrella of Eastern Michigan University
and as such can receive donations through the EMU Foundation, which is
a registered 501(c) Non Profit organization. Our Federal Tax number
is 38-6005986. These donations can be offset against your federal and
sometimes your state tax return (U.S. tax payers only). For more
information visit the IRS Web-Site, or contact your financial advisor.

Many companies also offer a gift matching scheme, such that they will
match any gift you make to a non-profit organization. Normally this
entails your contacting your human resources department and sending us
a form that the EMU Foundation fills in and returns to your employer.
This is generally a simple administrative procedure that doubles the
value of your gift to LINGUIST, without costing you an extra
penny. Please take a moment to check if your company operates such a
scheme.

HOW TO DONATE

You can make a contribution by selecting one of three convenient
payment methods: secure credit card form, check, or wire transfer.
You can also PLEDGE your support to LINGUIST and pay later, i.e. send
in a check. Also, if you do not want to use a credit card, but wish to
pay in a currency other than US Dollars, you can donate via our
European bank account held in Switzerland. See below for details:

SECURE CREDIT CARD FORM: 
http://linguistlist.org/donate.html

CHECK: 
Please make checks payable to 'The LINGUIST List Editorial Support
Fund'. The address is:

The LINGUIST Editorial Support Fund
Department of English Language and Literature
612 Pray Harrold
Eastern Michigan University
Ypsilanti
MI, 48197
U.S.A. 

WIRE TRANSFER: 
For details on how to transfer funds by wire, please contact LINGUIST
at the address donatelinguistlist.org. Both an American and a
European bank account are available.

PLEDGE NOW, PAY LATER: 
If you would like to make a pledge of support, please go to:

http://linguistlist.org/donate.html


ALREADY PLEDGED:
If you have already pledged to LINGUIST and would now like to pay by
credit card, please go to:

http://linguistlist.org/creditcard-general.html

and select 'PAY PREVIOUS PLEDGE' as the Type of Payment from the 
dropdown list provided.

******************************************************

The LINGUIST List Hall of Fame

ANGELS ($1000 and over)

 Blackwell Linguist List Plus
 European Language Resources Association
 John Benjamins
 Natural Language Processing Group, Microsoft Research
 
	
MAINSTAYS ($100 to $1000)
		
 Adam Werle
 Akira Yamamoto
 Andrea Schalley
 Andrew Carnie
 Arienne M. Dwyer
 Arnold M. Zwicky
 Barbara H. Partee
 Benny Lee
 Bernard Comrie
 Bernard Spolsky
 Bernd S. Mueller
 Billy Clark
 Brent de Chene
 Carlota Smith
 Carolyn Hartnett
 Catherine Walter
 Colin Phillips & Andrea Zukowski
 Dan Slobin
 David Lebeaux
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 David Parkinson
 Department of Linguistics, Rice University
 Department of Translation and Philology (Linguistics Section), Universitat Pompeu Fabra
 Dipika Mukherjee
 Donna Christian
 Dr. MJ Hardman
 E. Wayles Browne
 Earl M Herrick
 Elaine J. Francis, Alexander L. Francis
 Elizabeth D. Liddy
 Elizabeth Riddle
 Elliott Moreton
 elly van gelderen
 Ernest N. McCarus
 Esther Herrera Zendejas
 Georgetown Linguistics Student Association
 Gerardo Augusto Lorenzino
 Gregory D. S. Anderson
 Haihua Pan
 Hans Uszkoreit
 Heather McCallum-Bayliss
 Heike Behrens
 Herbert Stahlke
 Hubert CUYCKENS
 Irmengard Rauch and Gerald F. Carr
 James J.Jenkins
 Jean Ann and Bruce Peng
 jeanette gundel
 John Kingston
 John Lawler
 John REIGHARD
 Julie Auger
 Karen Davis
 Karl Heinz Wagner
 Keren Rice
 Kevin R. Gregg
 Laura Wagner
 Laurel Watkins
 Linda Rashidi
 Linda Thornburg, Klaus Panther
 Linguistic Society of Hawai'i
 Linguistics Department - Cornell University
 Lisa Galvin
 Ljiljana Progovac
 Margaret Winters and Geoff Nathan
 Marianna Pool
 Mark Sawyer
 Martin Haspelmath
 Mary Harper
 Michael Hess
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 Michael Swan
 Monica Macaulay, Joe Salmons
 Natasha Warner
 Pam and Allen Munro
 Patrick Chew
 Paul Chapin
 Paul M. Postal
 Pauline Jacobson
 Price Caldwell
 Rebecca Larche Moreton
 Robert s. Belvin
 Robin Thelwall
 Ronnie Wilbur, Purdue Linguistics Program
 Rudolph Troike
 Russell Tomlin
 Sally McConnell-Ginet
 Sarah Ross
 Satoshi Oku
 Shanley Allen
 Sharon L. Carlson
 Sharon Obeidallah
 Shirley Silver
 Stavroula Tsiplakou
 Terry Langendoen
 Theo Vennemann
 Tokyo University of Foreign Studies - English Department
 Tom Milligan
 University of Edinburgh- Department of Linguistics
 - Plus 8 anonymous donors

SUPPORTERS ($50 to $100)

 Akira Ishikawa
 Alan H. Kim
 Alfredo Torrejon
 Alice Faber
 Alicia Pousada
 Andrei Popescu-Belis (for ISSCO, Geneva)
 Andy Kehler
 Anja Geumann
 Anja Wanner
 Anna Bosch
 Anne Bezuidenhout
 Annie Zaenen
 Anthony Davis
 Astra Ozols
 Ayako Yamagata
 B. Stiebels
 BATTANER-MORO, Elena
 Belinda Bicknell
 Betty Phillips
 Bonnie D. Schwartz
 Boyd Davis
 Carmen Kelling
 Carol A. Klee
 Carolyn Sobel
 Catharina Kylander
 Catherine & Gerald Latham
 Catherine Rudin
 Cathy Rogers, Ph.D.
 Charles Gribble
 Charles Scott
 Chauncey C. Chu
 Christine Winskowski
 Christopher Johnson
 Claus D. Pusch
 Conrad Planas
 Cornelia Tschichold
 Cory R C Sheedy
 Daniel Villa
 Deborah Anderson
 Department of Linguistics, University of Canterbury, New Zealand
 Diane Brentari
 Diane Massam, Yves Roberge
 Donna L. Lillian
 Doug Davidson
 Doug Whalen
 Douglas Dee
 Ed McDonald
 Elena Guerzoni
 Elizabeth Cowper
 Elizabeth T. Blount
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 Eloise Jelinek
 Eric Breck
 Eugenia Casielles
 F. Dubert
 Fiona Mc Laughlin
 Frank Y Gladney
 Gaby & Hannes Kniffka
 Gail Stygall
 geoffrey nunberg
 George Aubin
 Georgetown University - Linguistics Faculty and Students
 Gerald McMenamin
 Giancarlo Buoiano
 Gilbert C. Rappaport
 Gina-Anne Levow
 Gloria Cappelli
 Graduate Students, Department of Linguistics, University of Toronto
 Grover Hudson
 Grover M. Hudson
 Heather Holmback
 Heidi Harley
 Henrik J�rgensen
 Hidetoshi Shirai
 Hiroshi Ohashi
 Humphrey P. van Polanen Petel
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 James L. Fidelholtz, Rosa Graciela Montes
 Jane H. Hill
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 Jie Zhang
 Joana Rossell�
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 Josep M. Fontana and Louise McNally
 Josep Quer
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 Judith Meinschaefer
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 Jutta Muschard, Leberstrasse 29, D-29223 Celle
 Karin Stromswold
 Kate Kearns
 Kathleen M. Ward
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 Kilani Schoch Marianne
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 Kurt Gjevnoe
 Languages, Literatures, Linguistics at Syracuse University
 Larry LaFond
 Laura Callahan
 Laura J. Downing
 Laurie Gerber
 Laurie Zaring
 Lee Fullerton
 Lynne Murphy
 Maite Taboada
 Marc Eisinger
 Margaret Speas
 Marguerite Browning
 Mariko Kondo
 Mark L. Louden
 Marlyse Baptista
 Martha Gibson, Ph.D.
 Martha Ratliff
 Martina Penke
 Martina Wiltschko
 Mary Bucholtz
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 Meyer, Wolfgang J.
 Mike Cahill
 Miwa Nishimura
 Morio Hamada
 Nan Bernstein Ratner
 Nancy Frishberg
 Nancy Sullivan
 Naomi Nagy
 Neil Olsen
 Nina Wacholder
 Northeastern University Linguistics Program
 Ocke-Schwen Bohn
 Patricia Cabredo Hofherr
 Patricia Donaher
 Paul Kerswill
 Philip LeSourd
 Philippe BARBAUD
 Pilar Pereira Barbosa
 Pius ten Hacken
 R. Joe Campbell and Mary L. Clayton
 Raffaella Folli
 Ray Hudson
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 Regina Morin
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 Robert Dale
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 Rochelle Lieber
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 Scott Petersen
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 sharon klein
 Sharon L. Shelly
 Sharon M. Klein
 Sherida Altehenger-Smith
 Stan Dubinsky
 Stefan Th. Gries
 Stefano Bertolo
 Susan Burt
 Susan Fischer
 Susana M. Sotillo
 Suzanne Pauline Aalberse
 Tadashi Nomoto
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 Thomas McFadden
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 Tomoko Yasutake
 Trudi A. Patterson
 Trudy Smoke
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 Valia Kordoni
 Veronika Koller
 Victoria L. Bergvall
 Virginia LoCastro
 Wally Anderson
 Wannie Carstens (on behalf of School of Languages, Potchefstroom University, South Africa)
 Yi-ching Su
 Zenzi M Griffin
 Zouhair Maalej
 - Plus 18 anonymous donors
	
DONORS (Up to $50)

 A.-M. Olsen
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 Cheng-Fu Chen
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 e. van der linden
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 Enchao Shi
 Eric Russell-Webb (for Western Michigan University Linguistic Group)
 Eva Dobler
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 Fabian Overlach
 Fabienne Baider
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 Florian Jaeger (Stanford University)
 Francesca Del Gobbo
 Francisco Ord��ez
 Franz Dotter
 fredrik heinat
 Friederike Luepke
 Friederike Spitzl-Dupic
 Fritz Heberlein
 Gabrielle Goodwin
 Gaby Saldanha
 Gary Holton
 George & Mary Huttar
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 George Aaron Broadwell
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 gwendolyn weber
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 Hajime Ono
 Hans Lindquist
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 Hedde H. Zeijlstra
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 Hiromi Oda
 Hirotaka Mitomo
 Hohmann, Charles
 Hortensia Cuerll
 Hsu, Chun-chieh
 Huei-Ling Yen
 Hugo Quene
 IASRI
 Inge De Bleecker
 Ingo Plag
 Irena Botwinik-Rotem
 Irene Barberia
 Irene Checa-Garc�a
 Isabelle Collombat
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 J Spenader
 J. Bohnemeyer
 J. Michael Terry
 J.-R. Hayashishita
 Jacques Lamarche
 James Lavine
 James M. McCarthy
 James Vanden Bosch
 Jan Strunk
 Janice Aski
 Jason Conklin
 Jason Rudd
 jean m. monbeig
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 Jean-Marc Dewaele
 Jeanelle Barrett
 Jeff Good
 Jeffrey T. Runner
 Jen Hay
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 Jessica Collura
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 Jim Long
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 jjoan ttaber aka altieri
 Joan C. Beal
 Joanna L. Taylor
 Joaquim Barbosa
 Job M. van Zuijlen
 Johanna Laakso
 John Archibald
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 John Dunnion
 John Goldsmith
 John H Harris
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 John Justeson
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 Jon Nissenbaum
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 Kathleen Wood
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 Liang Tao
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 Lista 'Etnolinguistica'
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 Ma. del, Carmen, Herrera, M.
 maire noonan
 Malcolm MacDonald
 Malcolm Ross
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 Marek Koscielecki
 Maren Pannemann
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 Maria Lomzynska de Ris
 MARIANN BAKRO-NAGY
 Marianna Chodorowska-Pilch
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 Marina Gorlach
 Marina Nielsen
 Mark A. Mandel
 Mark Arnold
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