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A partial suggestion re Barbara Johnstone's query: I don't know that it's generally true that a polite threat is more threatening than an impolite one, but I can see an explanation for the difference in the pair you cite. "Don't V!" is a command, but not necessarily a threat--it doesn't imply any negative consequences for the addressee if the command is ignored. (I could very well not want you to V because of possible consequences to ME, for example). But "If I were you, I wouldn't V" carries a clear message of entailed negative consequences--I know that if I V-ed I'd be sorry, so I wouldn't, and I am hereby suggesting that the same is true for you ...Mail to author|Respond to list|Read more issues|LINGUIST home page|Top of issue
I don't have an answer to Barbara Johnstone's question, but would point out that there may be a broader phenomenon here. Consider the difference between e.g. 'That's interesting' and 'That's not uninteresting' -- the first damns with faint praise while the second is clearly a strong ex- pression of interest. Similarly, 'What are you doing?' can be a mere ex- pression of curiosity while 'What do you think you're doing?' is extremely hostile. Michael KacMail to author|Respond to list|Read more issues|LINGUIST home page|Top of issue
About the Barbara Johnstone query regarding polite threats. The reason "If I were you, I don't know as I'd..." more threatening than "don't" is first of all that "don't" is not a threat. The real test would be between two threats, one polite and one not. It is hard to think of a direct or explicit threat, except a very trivial one, which is less threatening than the example. e.g. "If I were you, I don't know as I'd,..." vs. "I'll cough if you ...." vs. "I'll be forced to call the police if you..." As a matter of experience, polite threats are useless in real life. Susan Ervin-TrippMail to author|Respond to list|Read more issues|LINGUIST home page|Top of issue