Editor for this issue: Elyssa Winzeler
Date: 23-Mar-2012 From: LINGUIST List <linguistlinguistlist.org> Subject: In Which Our Group Learns the Importance of Pronunciation E-mail this message to a friend
Our poor heroes groggily awoke, feeling as though they were suffering from the worst after-cocktail party effect. Unsure of their surroundings they tried to figure out what exactly had happened. Slowly, they recalled that on their journey home, they had encountered a troupe of rather irritable satyrs. Sir ApropOH had attempted to lighten the mood by telling some (terribly cheesy) linguistic puns...
Apparently, this had not gone over well, because the satyrs had rendered the entire Illocutionary Force unconscious and abandoned them in a strange land.
"Of all the blunders you could make, Sir AproprOH!" huffed Professor P. "It's satyrs, with a syllabic r... SYLLABIC R. This sounds nothing like satire. Satyrs aren't exactly known for their sense of humor."
"I just thought...'Who doesn't like a good joke?'" replied Sir ApropOH sheepishly.
"You of all people should have recognized the context." lectured Max M. Quality.
"Well, we have now identified one error..." started Turing Myrmidon.
"But how do we assess our current geographic environment?" asked Superior Whorf. They looked around. Piles of administrative paperwork. Late homework assignments. Application rejections. This was certainly one of the nastiest areas of the Tenuous Career Path.
"And we don't even have grad students to help us with this mess!" cried C-Commando in a most alarmed fashion. The group shuddered. They were nowhere near the Student Portal, and must make the journey on foot.
"We clearly need to get out of here as quickly as possible, but which way? Choosing the incorrect channel of communication has already gotten us into trouble, and another miscommunication could lead us to the Job Dead End." said Superior Whorf.
"Let us look at LL-MAP!" cried Swadeshbuckler, looking for a quick solution. "Hmm... I can't seem to make sense of this..."
"It might help if you didn't hold it upside down..." added Max, ever the pragmatist.
With a few more arguments, logical and not, the group came to a consensus and cautiously headed in the direction they believed home to be.
Oh dear, it looks as though our heroes are in quite a mess. Will they reach home and receive their next quest? Or will they end up in a worse situation still?
You decide! Help us reach $55,000 to release our exciting guest story...
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